uganda XI

now we're back from the village...

saturday, august 23/08

on saturday we just relaxed. roger tried to arrange for us to go and see one of his shows. 

the way his shows happen is very bazaar to me. someone organized a bar or a dance, usually in a ghetto somewhere. they call roger or his best friend, beezman or goes by the name of "the reggae master"; roger goes by the  name of "r.eddie". the organizer calls just a few hours before the gig is to happen and off he goes. we talked about how he needs a manager who can set up a schedule of performances so he would know what he would be doing for some weeks at a time. apparently, is just doesn't happen that way and wouldn't work because of the way organizers work. weird!

everything they sing is either pop or traditional culture and is on cd. they just show up with their music, put it on and sing along. roger says he would love to have a live band but no-one can afford it. as it is, he is well know and quite popular. he says he makes $30 to $45 a night, sometimes up to three times a week. if that is regular, it's not bad pay. medical drs. make about $250 a month and live in a shack. (brad visited the hospital and had a conversation with the top doc who makes about $500 a month. they drove around and looked a some of their homes. the hospital is state of the art and has a teaching arrangement with a hospital in london.)

anyway, his shows are either too late or he doesn't want us to go to a certain venue. i hope we get to see him perform before we  leave. we saw him and beezman perform   at the wedding and they are clearly very good performers but i suspect these shows are a little different...longer performances than at the wedding, and working with the audiences more.

roger and i wrote a song together out at uncle eric's place and he has just returned from setting up a recording session. unfortunately, we can't get in before midnight and we can only go until 6am. roger and i are both excited about this. he records alot but i think he's pumped about doing a song with me. after years of experience in canada, i'm excited to be involved in a session in another country...particularly africa!

uganda X

"hurry up and wait"

friday, august 22/08

we were supposed to leave today for kampala but there was a lot of "hurry up and wait" because roger still hadn't gathered all his cows.  finally, he did and we were ready to go.  oh, wait!  uncle grace just called and wanted to see lola and congratulate her and roger.  

(there is no land phone system in uganda.  everyone has a cell phone and although you could probably get a contract, everyone i saw bought time cards...10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes.  very cheap.  and the sellers are walking up and down traffic selling at intersections.  there are a few companies but 3 main ones.  the funny thing is they tell people that if they let them put their logo on their shop.  so, in every neighbourhood, ghetto, and village there are the floresent colours for each company...bright pink, deep purple, and sky blue.  everything along side them is shabby and dingy.  it's very funny to see a herder in the middle of the dark continent, far from civilization on his cell phone way out in a pasture.  and electricity for the main house in uncle eric's case comes from solar panels!)

so off we go to uncle grace's place.  the car can't go there so roger, brad and i walk through forest and pastureland about 3 or 4 miles until we come upon a small, neat compound.  to greet us is a mentally handicapped teenage boy who seems quite curious.  remember, brad and i are only the 3rd and 4th mzungu in this area and, according to roger, the first two who have made it to this property.  quite intoxicating for us, actually.  also to greet us are 2 younger children, curious as well, but welcoming and smiling shyly, and one of the most beautiful women i've ever seen.  giggling with glee and not taking "no" for an answer would not let us leave until we entered their humble hut and sat in their prized chairs.  after a few pictures we were on our way.

now, another surprise.  roger said that i was going with grace while he and brad would go back the way they came.  i'm guessing it was because i'm an old man and would probably expire on the trek back to eric's compound.  so, off the two of us go, not able to speak to each other because of language barriers.  the cow paths kept us single file so we didn't need to talk anyway. but he was careful to show me the way so i wouldn't stumble.

suddenly, we happen upon another compound with a wooden gate.  inside were 2 buildings. one looked like a shed.  the other was a long, rectangle building about 50' long and 25' wide.  built on a tree branch frame and covered with the same red dirt that was found on their homes.  it had been lovingly smoothed and decorated with tribal symbols in one line all around the building.  we enter and i see a platform at one end with a podium and a scant number of benches strewn about... and a motorcycle!  this church was built by grace for the people in the area.

upon entering the church grace walked over to one of the walls and began to pray.  it was quite moving watching a man that had such devotion.  mind you we were about to travel on a motorcycle.  maybe i should say a little prayer.

out of the church, out of the compound and off we went through the cow pastures back to uncle eric's place.  another fond farewell and we headed back to kampala on the long, arduous and this time, very dusty road.

my window was open for some relief from the heat but i paid for it.  brad said my hair (at least the side facing the window) had turned red.  red is the colour of the earth in uganda and anything remotely close to any road is covered with red dust.

lola and i got into an argument about something really silly.  we argued like a married couple. brad stayed out of it and roger giggled nervously wondering what was going on.  i knew i had said some insensitive things and realized we were going to have to talk about it.  i was thinking about how families disintegrate because of hurt feelings.  we dealt with it when were left alone for a few minutes at the cafe back in kampala.

i went into the restroom to wash the dirt off my face and out of my hair.  all that happened was that all my hair turned a rusty colour.  i pretended it was my new look and everyone seemed impressed.

uganda IX

still out in the country...

thursday, august 21/08

last night before coming from uncle george's to uncle eric's we went to the local bar in kyayi. much attention.  brad said it was like paparazzi without the cameras.  actually, we had the cameras.  there was some alcohol-induced, unwanted attention but it was dealt with by beezman and steve.

at one point i was relishing my cold water (yes water, because i already had enough beer) and as i was drinking, i looked at the many children watching me.  when i finished i sounded a long, satisfied, "ahhh!"  one of the braver kids copied me with a long, "ahhh!"  then i took another swigg finishing with an ecstatic, "oooh!"  now, half the kids copied with a chorus of "oooh!"  this went on and on with me changing the sounds of satisfaction and all the kids (membering 15 or so) copying whatever i did.  after a long, fun time, i thought i must be getting tired and went back to visiting with the adults (most of them old friends of roger and steve).  the kids stayed to stare.

we headed off to uncle eric's long after mid-night which should have been a 3 mile ride. unfortunately it was through pastures which were muddy with just a semblance of a path.  we got lost twice and ended up at another farm.  that farmer climbed into our already crowded car to give directions.  apparently, we weren't lost the first time; we just didn't go far enough.  lola was right, roger was wrong.  and there was much rejoicing.

there was an uncomfortable silence with all the families in the compound (much the same idea as uncle george's place.  we finally settled, all of us sleeping in eric's wife #2's house (she was away at a funeral).

there is a custom in uganda that you kick off your shoes before you enter a home and leave them outside (you need to be careful of spiders and bugs when you put them back on.  here, too, you need to watch for wasps, which i didn't and got stung).  as i prepared for my nightly nocturnal journey to the latrinal hole in the ground (a quite nice one actually) i discovered that my sandals were gone.  somewhat perturbed and REALLY needing to make the journey, i went barefoot - over the grass and partway into the banana plantation; quite dangerous, i knew, (the stumps and leaves of fallen banana trees are very sharp) but i didn't know the half of it (there are creepy, crawly things that are poisonous for which there is no antidote).  by the way, i found my shoes this morning at the back door...i left them at the front door.  hmmmm.

this morning we were invited to join the herders for milking.  these cows are amazing!  huge horns bigger than any longhorn i've ever seen and thicker as well.  generally, it's quite safe walking among them.  one inadvertently hit me when she turned her head and almost knocked my off my feet...not an easy thing to do!  their milking procedure seemed so much more humane than our dairies in north america.  they just walk through the pasture from cow to cow milking.  and they milk them into little black jugs.  (these jugs are the pride and joy of each wife, not unlike the pride some families have in their china dish sets.)  the children take turns gathering these vessels one at a time, running them back to mom's hut where she either boils the milk (for pasteurization) or to make into yoghert...which tastes great by the way.

the rest of the day was spent sleeping but for roger's many trips to try and gather the cows he and lola received at their wedding.

uganda VIII

more about the village...

wednesday, august 20/08

the days on the farm are slow and lazy.  at least, for a mzungu.  when we had lunch, which was served by uncle george's daughters while we ate in his patriarchal house.  we entered a conversation.  

brad and i spent the wedding day with steve's wife/girlfriend and mother of his child.  her name is joyce.  i remember feeling uncomfortable because back at the house he was openly flirtatious with other young women visiting there.  they were, too, but that's a whole different story; one that they will have to write.  i asked steve what his relationship was with joyce.  he said they loved each other and seemed slightly confused by the question. suddenly, brad said, "steve, you are such a hypocrite!"  this candor surprised us all.  steve defended himself saying that it was his tradition (one of the uncles out here has two wives even though he is a christian.  uncle george is a "born-again" and has one wife as a result).  in the conversation, roger pointed out that it was his tradition, too, but he had no intention of having more than one wife.  this resulted in much teasing of lola and lots of laughter.

back to the conversation:  steve said roger had become "a modern man" but he liked the tradition.  he even said if he could find a white woman who would take him to britain or america, he would marry her and go with her to live where she lives.  he said he would still support joyce and brain (yes, brain, not brian) if he could.  it's his tradition to allow for more than one wife and therefore, is good.  steve said we have no right to judge another culture's traditions.

after wrestling with that for a while, i said, "if a man in iran steals a loaf of bread they can cut off his hand.  that's their tradition.  is it, therefore, good?"  steve said, "no."  "some traditions," i said, "are not good and should be changed."  we talked more about the value of marriage for love and companionship, sharing your life.  it seemed that steve wasn't sure anymore but the conversation was over.  

i must admit that this is before i met uncle eric and his two wives.  maybe these long accepted relationships have a purpose in some cultures.  his two wives love each other and each other's children.  eric is a kind and generous man.  but the sense is he lucked out.  and although he clearly loves his first wife, we're not sure what the relationship is between him and her.

brad said that the prophet mohammed said four wives was the ideal - one can't do everything required of a wife, two will be envious of each other, three will create schisms and gossip about each other.  how having four wives solves those problems, i don't know.

interesting story in uncle george's family group.  one day a woman who was "not right in the head" wandered into his compound.  he decided to care for her as his faith compelled him to do. now that's commitment to a tradition!

at one point, one of george's son's decided to visit her hut for sex.  an unfortunate element of their tradition.  they had sex once and the woman became pregnant and in the appointed time gave birth to lucy.  soon after that the mother wandered away as mysteriously as she arrived.

george's son, lucy's father, cares for her with his wife and their other children.  the interesting thing is, while the other children are shy and reserved, lucy is a ball of energy often skipping from chore to game to chore.  she plays happily with all the kids, caring for the younger ones. and she laughs easily (until it came time to take a picture, that is).

uganda VII

how can one say they have had a life changing experience and expect people to take them seriously.  i was in uganda (never been there before) in a small village (one of the first two white men to be there) and walked where no white man has ever walked before.  how can that NOT be life changing? 

tuesday, august 19/08

what a long, arduous ride to get out here!  probably three hours or so but 2/3 of the way is on red dirt roads that, thankfully, have been settled with rain.  but it could have been much worse if we had come by taxi.  "taxi" is an experience i've yet to have.  they are like econoline vans that are licensed for 14 people plus a driver and a conductor.  they have been known to take more. that would have been brutal on these roads.  beezman, steve, and parisai came out in a taxi.  i must say that i feel somewhat guilty about that but our hosts want to treat us well.  and the taxi is how these folks get around so there was no complaint from these people.

the home that roger and his brothers and sister lived in right in the village is basically a small room crammed with 2 couches, a coffee table, and and bureau.  behind a hanging blanket is a sleeping room.  steve still stays there when he comes home.

when we got there they were in the middle of their weekly market.  it was interesting as a cultural event but disappointing on other levels.  cows and goats were bought at market and were being taken to the big city for slaughtering.  the truckers and their workers were were incredibly cruel to the animals.   the cattle are crammed in front to back with heads twisted in whatever way necessary to make a fit.  the goats are piled 3 high and crowded like the cows.  we saw truckloads on the way up to the village with legs stuck out the sides of the truck.  brad went to take a picture.  they began to yell and swear about mzungu just wanting to take the pictures and sell them.  roger began to argue with them.  he didn't say we weren't selling the pictures but said, "what are we all here for?  people sell things, people buy things.  that's what the market is."  i think he likes to argue/debate a little bit.

after a walk around the  village meeting people, followed by children and accosted by the market-day drunks (thank goodness for steve - everyone knows him and likes him; he was our protector to a certain degree) we headed off to uncle george's farm compound.  on the compound is a house for george and his wife,and three clay, thatch-roofed huts housing 3 families - 2 daughters and their husbands and children, and 1 son with his wife and children.  also a clay cook house where they cook their milk and make yoghurt (which was fabulous, by the way).

uganda VI

this entry was written sitting in a cafe in kampala as everyone else was running around getting errands done.

monday, august 18/08

today the boys (douglas and moses) left for school.  douglas is doing some extra schooling to get ahead because he is graduating at christmas.  moses is going to his grandfather's place for a couple days, then he's off for his next semester.

we still have no water at the house.  apparently, we're at the mercy of gravity and water pressure.  when there's enough pressure, then there's water.  i have dreaded having to use those holes in the ground that pass for latrines and sure enough they are beyond my capacity to bend. the water we have is carried every couple days from the community center.  i started using the grey water from dishes and laundry to flush and everyone has been thankful.  

tomorrow we're heading out to the village (kyayi - pronounced chai) which is where roger and his siblings were raised.  the uncles (they aren't really blood relatives but roger and his brothers and sister call them uncles) are the ones who stepped up when roger's parents died. they cared for these children...selflessly and without hesitation.  like most young people who leave the safe isolation of their first homes to go to the big city, they ended up in unfortunate circumstances. in the case of roger and his brothers, they ended up living in the ghetto.

anyway, they don't have modern toilets either.

uganda V

here's the journal entry for the day after lola's and roger's wedding.

sunday, august 17/08

the morning after the great event.  roger and lola aren't here at the house yet.  they should be here soon.  last night there was an issue around whether they would stay at the hotel for their wedding night. roger was concerned that marg and sarah were leaving today and he should spend their last evening with them.  very much the man of the house wanting to treat his guests with honour.  he was concerned that they spent so much money, travelled such a great distance. they were such welcomed guests and he just didn't want to leave them on their last night in uganda.  

marg spoke with him to say they should enjoy their wedding night in a nice hotel.  he said no. we sent his brothers and his best man to convince him that marg and sarah really wanted them to stay at the hotel.  he said no.  i spoke with lola who said she would love to stay at the hotel but would do what roger decided because this was his issue. finally i was sent to speak to roger.

at first i simply said that they should stay.  he said no.  i told him that marg and sarah would feel terrible if they realized they were the cause of him and lola missing out on their wedding night.  he wavered but said no.

i felt for him as i became aware of the conflict warring within him...wanting to be honourable to his guests and his new wife. wanting to sacrifice but also wanting what he wanted.  finally, in the middle of this cultural conflict, i said, "roger, i am your elder and i'm telling you, you must stay at the hotel tonight."  a smile came over his face and he said, "what about lola?  she wants to honour her mother and her friends."  i said, "i think she would be happy that you decided to stay."  i said, "you can spend some time with marg and sarah now and you will drive them to the airport tomorrow."  he went and spoke with lola.  they both returned with the answer that they were staying.

this moment of calling on my position as an elder was quite amazing. how would my children, or any young person for that matter, react if i said, "do this because i'm your elder."?  their reaction would be quite different from roger's.  here in uganda there is quite a different viewpoint or value given to honour and respecting of roles.  there was a time in our history where honour and chivalry were held in high esteem.  because of pendulum-swing reaction to our human tendency to abuse power and control, we have all but lost those values.  it's too bad.

it was just as well that lola and roger didn't come home with us because when we got the the compound, we discovered the water was off - no shower, no flushing toilet.  the only reason we had drinking water was because it was purchased every day or two so we would always have it on hand.  the shortage of water happens on a regular basis when there is a lack of rain.  this slows the flow of water causing less pressure.

apparently, they had a good night.

another first for brad and myself at any wedding was the gifting of cows...seven, after all was said and done.  this is not just symbolic but is a real gift of wealth in this economy where money is almost useless in comparison with property everywhere accept in the larger towns and cities.

uganda IV

saturday, august 16/08; 6:00am - ish

i couldn't sleep much last night.  i must be a little nervous about singing "at last".  it went through my head probably 50 times or more - no exaggeration.  

roger and lola also asked me to pray the closing prayer which has also been on my mind.  after a short sleep needing to get up to "recycle" the beer.  it was only one but clearly too late.  

then the cock crowed (way too early), the pigs across the road squeeled, and a crazed dog next door barked steadily until the sky lightened.  all of this started with the buzzing of a vibrating cel phone on a table (not mine) and the regular muslim call to prayer somewhere in the distance. romance nixed with irritation kept me awake 'til i thought i might as well get up.

later that day was the wedding.  more about that later.  what follows is a toast to the bride and a prayer that i was asked to give...

i know lola.  i have known her for a long time.  i have worked with her for years.  and i know lola.

i have seen her hold the lonely, and heal the wound of the hurting with a touch and a smile, or a tear.  she embraces freely, gives of her life generously, and loves deeply.  she is one of the most compassionate people i know.

i feel i know God better because of lola.  God made her; and i know lola.

when i met lola's mother i wasn't surprised that she was a caring, gentle person.  because lola was raised by her mother; and i know lola.

and so when i heard about roger from lola, and spoke to him on the phone a few times, i didn't really know him.  i have since learned that roger is a man of integrity, courage, and compassion. but i shouldn't be surprised.  lola has chosen him; and i know lola.

if it was not for lola and roger, i never would have come to this beautiful land.  roger has welcomed me to his country, i have eaten at his table and tasted his wine.  i have been embraced by the laughter, joy, and love of his family.  i am humbled and deeply moved, and my life will never be the same.  thank-you; mwaybola nio.

All Mighty God

Creator of all that is beautiful,

Giver of all good things, 

We thank you for today.

We thank you for the picture

of love and fidelity, 

and generosity

we have seen in this celebration.

We ask for Your blessing on

Roger and Lola.  

We ask that you will grant them

Peace,

Wisdom,

Joy, and 

Love

for the rest of their lives;

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.  

Amen

uganda III

this is a copy of my journal dated...

friday, august 15/08

i need to make this entry because so much happens that i will get too far behind if i don't do it now.

i have met the most amazing people here.  they are mostly connected to roger - his brothers, cousins, their girlfriends and friends.  douglas, the youngest is recognized by the rest of the family as "father".  they tease him about it but also accept it.  moses is the quiet one full of seriousness and compassion.  stephen is the funny one - the one whom i hope will be my companion/guide while i'm here.

when we first met this group, lola, roger, brad and i were having lunch at the cafe pap in downtown kampala.  in they walked all teeth and joy with embraces.  everyone was saying how they have longed to see me.  i knew many of their names but didn't know who was who (one other fellow is beezman - roger's best friend - all rasta hair and charm.  a beautiful man inside and out).

we arrived at the compound and drank beer, sang, and laughed until i couldn't keep my eyhes open  anymore.  (i had been awake for 48 hours with 3 hours sleep in snatches).

today we ate and went for our first walkabout taking pictures of the neighbourhood around the compound.  i felt self-conscious about taking pictures of others' lives but once i started showing the pictures to the children, it was more like fun and playing.  one woman holding a baby asked me a question - "lesala?"  i quickly called stephan back.  she said the same thing and he repeated to me "lesala?".  my look was blank enough for him to realize i didn't understand.  he patted my arm and said to the woman "no, he's just a big man."  as understanding slowly crept into my mind, i threw my head back in laughter - she had asked, in english no less, if i was a wrestler.  this was the beginning of my journey in not only not understanding the ugandan language but in not understanding the ugandans' english.

they say they can understand brad easier than me.  lola says its because brad had developed a bit of english accent in his english and that's how they are taught in school.  shephen says he thinks it's because i have a big voice, thick and low.  and i speak too fast!  nobody has ever said that about me before.

now i have met stephen's girlfirend/wife, joyce, and their 2 month old baby boy, brain.  some confusion there as well - he was dressed in a dress - but it was blue.  joyce is a beautiful woman who speaks slow enough for me to understand.  we spoke about school, dreams, politics and language.

uganda II

here's my second installment of my trip to uganda last summer.  as you read it, it will be written as i wrote it then.  sometimes i wrote in the present, sometimes reporting things that happened in the past few hours or days.  i hope you're able to enjoy this and imagine the traveling with me.

wednesday, august 13/08

the time spent in minneapolis was uneventful until and hour and a half before take off.  a huge storm came in.  we couldn't see further than 30 years because of the driving rain.  

i had been sitting for several hours at gate c4.  when it came time for what i thought would be boarding time nothing happened.  i checked to see if it was late and i saw that it was at gate g4! which was about a mile away...no exaggeration.  i got there just in time to board thanks to some fancy driving by one of those airport cart drivers.  he drove me right up to the gate door.  

shades of thompson/the pas which is always one of my greatest concerns when i'm traveling and supposed to be at a certain place at a certain time.  it's another story, but it's a good one, believe me.

i didn't sleep very well on the plane.  i watched a movie (iron man) and tried to sleep, but to no avail. arrived at heathrow terminal 4 and had a long subway ride and walk to get to terminal 3.  i'm supposed to meet brad there at 3ish.  i don't even know what time it is.  i went to put my luggage in a safe place but it would cost 6 pound 50 for each item...that's like a total of $45!! that's just crazy.

so here i sit waiting for breakfast while i write.  hope meeting up with brad goes without a hitch.

journey to uganda I

although i went to uganda in august last year, i have finally found the time to write about it.  i knew that the experience could be life changing and so wrote a journal every day or two.  what follows here and for the next few postings will be installments of that journal.  

august 12/08

so here i sit on the tarmac of the winnipeg international airport.  i have been through all the anxiety about flying with my wife, noelle.  she kept trying to ease my concerns i'm aware that those concerns are not rational.  i have found as i get older i want to avoid anything that smacks of danger.  i think this is because i want to be able to be with and enjoy my family as long as i can.

i've already dealt with dying back when i had that cancer scare in november of 07.  i came to grips with all that and as long as i have significant time to tell those i love that i, in fact, love them and to say goodbye, i'd be OK with dying.

it is interesting that i have these irrational fears.  my fears through my life have always been about my own weaknesses.  now they seem to be external things of which i have no control.

so here we are, taxiing out and i'm on my way to one of the poorest countries in the world. what adventures await me (us actually as i'm meeting my good friend, brad, in london).

noelle kissed me, stefi game me a long hug and jordy blessed me.  and i'm off while listening to modest mouse album "we were dead before the ship ever sank".