s@int bLOG

manners II

2011-10-01T01:40:00.003-05:00

just trying to clean up some unfinished blog business. i wrote an installment back in may of 2009 called 'manners I'. you might want to read it if you're going to follow along here. after we're done with this we'll get back to our thoughts on hell and the price of sulphur.

when i brought up the issue of chivalry at this banquet, i said that even with the adherent difficulties, i believe we lost something when chivalry was no longer a value we held as important. there are difficulties with chivalry.

some people feel that chivalry has a problem because it assumed weakness of the maiden and an inability for her to handle whatever situation in which she found herself. the knight-errant would slay the dragon for her, or free her from the tower, or lay his cloak over the muddy puddle so she wouldn’t get her dainty, and jewel-shod foot dirty. for good reason self-respecting and strong women everywhere should reject such a limp-wristed role in society.

as in many areas of our history we made a huge mistake. in the same way that the protestants threw out the iconic baby with the indulgences bathwater, we have thrown out kindness, gentleness, and honour for the sake of equality. equality may be a good topic for another blog but i think the loss has been needless.

in one sense, the idea shouldn't have been that women are weak, powerless, and need help, but that there are people who are weak, powerless, and need help. to say or think otherwise is unrealistic, naive and/or dishonest. rather than letting go of chivalry it should have been embraced and expanded. i have had the door held open for me by a kind woman (or a man). and i liked it. i have been treated with gentleness when, for one reason or another my tender heart needed care. to be held up and honoured by those who love us would be a remarkable thing.

and i believe that other societies, and history would view us with perplexed envy. perplexed, because people in this world just don't treat each other with kindness, gentleness, and honour for the most part. envy, because whether people admit it or not everyone desires to be treated with kindness, gentleness, and honour.

what the hell? (on so many levels)

2011-09-20T23:34:00.003-05:00

well, all there is left is to get started.

as anyone could see (if they read this blog) it's been awhile. and all the while my email says "i've begun blogging again" and a link to this blog is provided. that's been there for a long time. the good thing is no-one comments because no-one reads the blog.

so "why blog?" one might ask. thomas merton says that

"keeping a journal (blog) has taught me that there is not so much new in the interior life as one sometimes thinks. when you reread your journal (blog) you find out that your newest discovery is something you already found out five years ago. still, it is true that one penetrates deeper and deeper into the same ideas and same experiences." Echoing Silence

so we'll see what experiences and ideas we will penetrate in the next while.

speaking of tm, the real reason i've begun again to write in this space is because of the reading and the conversations i've been having for a couple years now. actually, it goes back further than that but let's not.

i have been wondering about the many things i used to believe when i was younger that i either no longer believe or certainly about which i am undecided. hell is a big one. the questions about what if there is a hell are so old as to become trite when written. i will leave them to your own questions and memories of questions. if i am to move away from that doctrine, where do i go? and what do i do with the 'good news'? before the good news was "whew, i don't have to go to hell". now what is the good news?

you'll notice a couple things if you're reading and if you're paying attention.

first i write 'if i am to move away'. i want to avoid saying 'i have moved on'. this suggests that i have grown and evolved beyond these childish ideas. i don't mean that and i don't believe it. these are not childish ideas. people with better minds than mine who are more able to communicate have held and still hold to these ideas, doctrines.

secondly, i do believe there is good news. i believe in the Jesus of the Christians scriptures. replete with the miracles et al. now, that has been a journey as well, later to be blogged i hope. so i still believe there is good news because Jesus talks about it, scripture talks about it. but what is it? that's part of the path i am on now. read scripture, read old saints (and some new ones).

i relish the journey

manners I

2009-05-17T16:18:00.010-05:00

the other evening i was at a banquet with friends. half the dinners at the table were served a delicious meal of souvlaki chicken, pilaf rice and lemon potatoes.

the other half had to wait.

while we were waiting one of those who had yet to receive her meal commented on the lack of etiquette in the behaviour of those who began to eat without us. (laughs around the table) then the rest of us, save one, received our dinner. as i waited until the last person received his meal, i was teased about being so proper. i told them that when i was young my mom always told me that you don't start eating until everyone has their meal in front of them. generally, i have continued that practice.

the curious thing to me was that i was chided and teased because i was being polite. this is something that i think our generation has lost in the name of ... well, i don't know what name to blame for the loss of this simple act of civilization. we have been told as we hold the door open that "thank you very much but i'm not an invalid. i can open the door myself." we have been told that certain words are not acceptable. for instance, to call a female a "lady" is offensive because of two possible reasons.

that a "lady" in the victorian time is seen as someone who was unable to do things for herself or chose not to do things for herself is one of these possibilities. the expectation was for her to marry, usually "well", and let the "lord" care for her. i understand that could be seen as offensive to the modern female. another possible reason for the offensive nature of the word "lady" is in reference to the "lady of the night".

i understand that as offensive and i'm not even a modern female.

"why not call us women?" they ask. well, to a much lesser degree, i find that word potentially offensive. for me "woman" has always had the connotation of ownership and being a derivative of "man". because of that i assume others will find it offensive, so i struggle with using that word in greeting or farewell.

ok. so, other words that are not acceptable are "babe", "girl", "chick", "hon", "dear", and i'm sure there are many others. actually, i find it quite disheartening when i hear young females calling other females "chick" because it seems they don't even have the "derogatory nature of address" on their radar. this does not bode well for the future, even if there is great confusion on the issue. at least people interested in the conversation are trying to work it out. they are trying to understand, to learn how these terms effect others. actually, it's bigger than that.

i have drifted off topic somewhat. we were talking about etiquette. manners. maybe it isn't off topic. let's try again later.

uganda epilogue

2009-04-27T20:25:00.005-05:00

the rest of the time spent in uganda and homeward bound.

sunday, august 31/08

the rest of our time in uganda was a bit of a blur. there were days of relaxing around the house. i did my own laundry in a small tub. even when i was doing it henry, the young man who was working as a guard of the compound, didn't feel right about the mzungu doing his own work and offered to wash my cloths for me. i had to insist saying i don't do this at home and wanted to experience what they do on a regular basis. he would only let me continue if i promised to ask him to do it if i wanted to quit. i'm happy to say i did finish and then spread my cloths on the ground to dry. the whole time lola was doing her laundry and we chatted. it was a good time.

later that week we went on a bit of a tourist trip to the source of the nile river. i never knew that it started all the way down in uganda. i read a sign that said it takes four months for water to travel from lake victoria to the mediterranean.

also there was a statue of ghandi. apparently, he said he wanted his ashes spread in four places that he considered symbols of life and unity, the source of the nile being one of them.

this area is also the home of the 'nile' brewery which produces the most popular beer in uganda. it tastes pretty good too. while we were in the bar some local came to me and said he thought i was kenny rogers (not the first time i've heard that, although i don't get it). i proved that, yes, in fact i was kenny rogers by singing a verse and chorus of 'the gambler' (lola had to get me started). we could see him as we followed him back to the parking lot speaking with people and telling them who i was. i don't know that he really believed it but it was interesting to have that experience on the other side of the globe.

after a tearful farewell, brad and i were on our way. we followed the same path by which we had come. brad left me at dubai because he wanted to take a taxi around the famous city. his direct flight to newcastle was in several hours. i only had to wait for about an hour for my flight after arriving at dubai.

the trip home was uneventful. i had an amazing time that can't help but effect me forever; new friends, experiences that took me back to a primal place mixed with cell phones and the internet. africa the birthplace of life. i have my life to look forward to, a new job, and time to spend with my family. i wish they could have been on this trip with me. my connection with uganda will not end soon either. i have left old friends and new friends (some of whom feel like old friends). i will continue my involvement with HOME/omuka, the home for teenaged boys who have been orphaned by AIDS, providing education and a safe home to call their own.

uganda XII

2009-04-07T08:46:00.008-05:00

recording session in kampala

monday, august 25/08

the way that roger arranges things is a bit of frustration for me. for instance, a recording session done in canada needs to be arranged and planned ahead of time. in roger's mind everything is arranged but not in reality. we knew we wanted to do the recording and were already planning for it. then he phones to make the arrangements! we were to start at midnight and would have the studio (with engineer) until 6am.

when we got to the studio we found ourselves in the middle of the ghetto, in a very dark alley. unfortunately the door was locked. we could hear music but nobody responded to our constant pounding on the door. roger said he would phone the engineer on his cel. but he was unable to get a good signal so he said he would leave to get a better signal and i should wait for him there. "here!?" i said. it was dark and several times there were suspicious people walking past. of course, at midnight in a dark alley in a ghetto in africa, anyone looks suspicious. i probably looked suspicious. "i'm not staying here alone." roger seemed amused by this. he said to follow him. he led me into what seemed like an abandoned building with a hallway. from different directions we heard loud noises from people yelling, music, tv, and radio, and no-one was responding to our calls. finally, a phone call resulted in an unlocked door.

the studio had state-of-the-art equipment but the place was very dark and grundgy. the windows were almost opaque with dirt. the engineer was a pleasant guy who also owns the studio. he actually owns many of the buildings in the area which is why the studio is situated in this area.

roger and i had hoped to put some "real" instruments in this recording but the engineer immediately began to sequence the music. after a long discussion around what was expected by the public and the time available, and who was really the producer here (he had produced roger's recordings in the past and expected to do this song as well), the sequencing continued. roger seemed ok with this so i had to let it go.

one of the things that i noticed was that roger is an intuitive performer. he really knows what he's doing in the studio and is able to get the feel and emotion of a song into the recording which is not a common thing.

after the recording (which took only a couple hours) we had to find our way home because there was no more taxi's available. roger said we would take a bodaboda which is like a motorcycle taxi. unfortunately, they weren't available either. and i was not excited about getting on one of these with someone who likely was either drunk or had been smoking dope for the last couple hours. roger made an arrangement that he would drive one bike with me on it, and the other bike would have the two drivers (one of them the owner of the motorcycle we were riding) follow us. it didn't take long for me to realize that roger didn't have alot of experience on bikes and the ride home was hair-raising and nerve-wracking. but we arrived safely and the recording day we had looked forward to was over.

uganda XI

2009-03-30T17:36:00.012-05:00

now we're back from the village...

saturday, august 23/08

on saturday we just relaxed. roger tried to arrange for us to go and see one of his shows.

the way his shows happen is very bazaar to me. someone organized a bar or a dance, usually in a ghetto somewhere. they call roger or his best friend, beezman or goes by the name of "the reggae master"; roger goes by the name of "r.eddie". the organizer calls just a few hours before the gig is to happen and off he goes. we talked about how he needs a manager who can set up a schedule of performances so he would know what he would be doing for some weeks at a time. apparently, is just doesn't happen that way and wouldn't work because of the way organizers work. weird!

everything they sing is either pop or traditional culture and is on cd. they just show up with their music, put it on and sing along. roger says he would love to have a live band but no-one can afford it. as it is, he is well know and quite popular. he says he makes $30 to $45 a night, sometimes up to three times a week. if that is regular, it's not bad pay. medical drs. make about $250 a month and live in a shack. (brad visited the hospital and had a conversation with the top doc who makes about $500 a month. they drove around and looked a some of their homes. the hospital is state of the art and has a teaching arrangement with a hospital in london.)

anyway, his shows are either too late or he doesn't want us to go to a certain venue. i hope we get to see him perform before we leave. we saw him and beezman perform at the wedding and they are clearly very good performers but i suspect these shows are a little different...longer performances than at the wedding, and working with the audiences more.

roger and i wrote a song together out at uncle eric's place and he has just returned from setting up a recording session. unfortunately, we can't get in before midnight and we can only go until 6am. roger and i are both excited about this. he records alot but i think he's pumped about doing a song with me. after years of experience in canada, i'm excited to be involved in a session in another country...particularly africa!

uganda X

2009-03-26T00:21:00.003-05:00

"hurry up and wait"

friday, august 22/08

we were supposed to leave today for kampala but there was a lot of "hurry up and wait" because roger still hadn't gathered all his cows. finally, he did and we were ready to go. oh, wait! uncle grace just called and wanted to see lola and congratulate her and roger.

(there is no land phone system in uganda. everyone has a cell phone and although you could probably get a contract, everyone i saw bought time cards...10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes. very cheap. and the sellers are walking up and down traffic selling at intersections. there are a few companies but 3 main ones. the funny thing is they tell people that if they let them put their logo on their shop. so, in every neighbourhood, ghetto, and village there are the floresent colours for each company...bright pink, deep purple, and sky blue. everything along side them is shabby and dingy. it's very funny to see a herder in the middle of the dark continent, far from civilization on his cell phone way out in a pasture. and electricity for the main house in uncle eric's case comes from solar panels!)

so off we go to uncle grace's place. the car can't go there so roger, brad and i walk through forest and pastureland about 3 or 4 miles until we come upon a small, neat compound. to greet us is a mentally handicapped teenage boy who seems quite curious. remember, brad and i are only the 3rd and 4th mzungu in this area and, according to roger, the first two who have made it to this property. quite intoxicating for us, actually. also to greet us are 2 younger children, curious as well, but welcoming and smiling shyly, and one of the most beautiful women i've ever seen. giggling with glee and not taking "no" for an answer would not let us leave until we entered their humble hut and sat in their prized chairs. after a few pictures we were on our way.

now, another surprise. roger said that i was going with grace while he and brad would go back the way they came. i'm guessing it was because i'm an old man and would probably expire on the trek back to eric's compound. so, off the two of us go, not able to speak to each other because of language barriers. the cow paths kept us single file so we didn't need to talk anyway. but he was careful to show me the way so i wouldn't stumble.

suddenly, we happen upon another compound with a wooden gate. inside were 2 buildings. one looked like a shed. the other was a long, rectangle building about 50' long and 25' wide. built on a tree branch frame and covered with the same red dirt that was found on their homes. it had been lovingly smoothed and decorated with tribal symbols in one line all around the building. we enter and i see a platform at one end with a podium and a scant number of benches strewn about... and a motorcycle! this church was built by grace for the people in the area.

upon entering the church grace walked over to one of the walls and began to pray. it was quite moving watching a man that had such devotion. mind you we were about to travel on a motorcycle. maybe i should say a little prayer.

out of the church, out of the compound and off we went through the cow pastures back to uncle eric's place. another fond farewell and we headed back to kampala on the long, arduous and this time, very dusty road.

my window was open for some relief from the heat but i paid for it. brad said my hair (at least the side facing the window) had turned red. red is the colour of the earth in uganda and anything remotely close to any road is covered with red dust.

lola and i got into an argument about something really silly. we argued like a married couple. brad stayed out of it and roger giggled nervously wondering what was going on. i knew i had said some insensitive things and realized we were going to have to talk about it. i was thinking about how families disintegrate because of hurt feelings. we dealt with it when were left alone for a few minutes at the cafe back in kampala.

i went into the restroom to wash the dirt off my face and out of my hair. all that happened was that all my hair turned a rusty colour. i pretended it was my new look and everyone seemed impressed.

uganda IX

2009-03-24T22:58:00.006-05:00

still out in the country...

thursday, august 21/08

last night before coming from uncle george's to uncle eric's we went to the local bar in kyayi. much attention. brad said it was like paparazzi without the cameras. actually, we had the cameras. there was some alcohol-induced, unwanted attention but it was dealt with by beezman and steve.

at one point i was relishing my cold water (yes water, because i already had enough beer) and as i was drinking, i looked at the many children watching me. when i finished i sounded a long, satisfied, "ahhh!" one of the braver kids copied me with a long, "ahhh!" then i took another swigg finishing with an ecstatic, "oooh!" now, half the kids copied with a chorus of "oooh!" this went on and on with me changing the sounds of satisfaction and all the kids (membering 15 or so) copying whatever i did. after a long, fun time, i thought i must be getting tired and went back to visiting with the adults (most of them old friends of roger and steve). the kids stayed to stare.

we headed off to uncle eric's long after mid-night which should have been a 3 mile ride. unfortunately it was through pastures which were muddy with just a semblance of a path. we got lost twice and ended up at another farm. that farmer climbed into our already crowded car to give directions. apparently, we weren't lost the first time; we just didn't go far enough. lola was right, roger was wrong. and there was much rejoicing.

there was an uncomfortable silence with all the families in the compound (much the same idea as uncle george's place. we finally settled, all of us sleeping in eric's wife #2's house (she was away at a funeral).

there is a custom in uganda that you kick off your shoes before you enter a home and leave them outside (you need to be careful of spiders and bugs when you put them back on. here, too, you need to watch for wasps, which i didn't and got stung). as i prepared for my nightly nocturnal journey to the latrinal hole in the ground (a quite nice one actually) i discovered that my sandals were gone. somewhat perturbed and REALLY needing to make the journey, i went barefoot - over the grass and partway into the banana plantation; quite dangerous, i knew, (the stumps and leaves of fallen banana trees are very sharp) but i didn't know the half of it (there are creepy, crawly things that are poisonous for which there is no antidote). by the way, i found my shoes this morning at the back door...i left them at the front door. hmmmm.

this morning we were invited to join the herders for milking. these cows are amazing! huge horns bigger than any longhorn i've ever seen and thicker as well. generally, it's quite safe walking among them. one inadvertently hit me when she turned her head and almost knocked my off my feet...not an easy thing to do! their milking procedure seemed so much more humane than our dairies in north america. they just walk through the pasture from cow to cow milking. and they milk them into little black jugs. (these jugs are the pride and joy of each wife, not unlike the pride some families have in their china dish sets.) the children take turns gathering these vessels one at a time, running them back to mom's hut where she either boils the milk (for pasteurization) or to make into yoghert...which tastes great by the way.

the rest of the day was spent sleeping but for roger's many trips to try and gather the cows he and lola received at their wedding.

uganda VIII

2009-03-23T00:25:00.008-05:00

more about the village...

wednesday, august 20/08

the days on the farm are slow and lazy. at least, for a mzungu. when we had lunch, which was served by uncle george's daughters while we ate in his patriarchal house. we entered a conversation.

brad and i spent the wedding day with steve's wife/girlfriend and mother of his child. her name is joyce. i remember feeling uncomfortable because back at the house he was openly flirtatious with other young women visiting there. they were, too, but that's a whole different story; one that they will have to write. i asked steve what his relationship was with joyce. he said they loved each other and seemed slightly confused by the question. suddenly, brad said, "steve, you are such a hypocrite!" this candor surprised us all. steve defended himself saying that it was his tradition (one of the uncles out here has two wives even though he is a christian. uncle george is a "born-again" and has one wife as a result). in the conversation, roger pointed out that it was his tradition, too, but he had no intention of having more than one wife. this resulted in much teasing of lola and lots of laughter.

back to the conversation: steve said roger had become "a modern man" but he liked the tradition. he even said if he could find a white woman who would take him to britain or america, he would marry her and go with her to live where she lives. he said he would still support joyce and brain (yes, brain, not brian) if he could. it's his tradition to allow for more than one wife and therefore, is good. steve said we have no right to judge another culture's traditions.

after wrestling with that for a while, i said, "if a man in iran steals a loaf of bread they can cut off his hand. that's their tradition. is it, therefore, good?" steve said, "no." "some traditions," i said, "are not good and should be changed." we talked more about the value of marriage for love and companionship, sharing your life. it seemed that steve wasn't sure anymore but the conversation was over.

i must admit that this is before i met uncle eric and his two wives. maybe these long accepted relationships have a purpose in some cultures. his two wives love each other and each other's children. eric is a kind and generous man. but the sense is he lucked out. and although he clearly loves his first wife, we're not sure what the relationship is between him and her.

brad said that the prophet mohammed said four wives was the ideal - one can't do everything required of a wife, two will be envious of each other, three will create schisms and gossip about each other. how having four wives solves those problems, i don't know.

interesting story in uncle george's family group. one day a woman who was "not right in the head" wandered into his compound. he decided to care for her as his faith compelled him to do. now that's commitment to a tradition!

at one point, one of george's son's decided to visit her hut for sex. an unfortunate element of their tradition. they had sex once and the woman became pregnant and in the appointed time gave birth to lucy. soon after that the mother wandered away as mysteriously as she arrived.

george's son, lucy's father, cares for her with his wife and their other children. the interesting thing is, while the other children are shy and reserved, lucy is a ball of energy often skipping from chore to game to chore. she plays happily with all the kids, caring for the younger ones. and she laughs easily (until it came time to take a picture, that is).

uganda VII

2009-03-21T00:30:00.006-05:00

how can one say they have had a life changing experience and expect people to take them seriously. i was in uganda (never been there before) in a small village (one of the first two white men to be there) and walked where no white man has ever walked before. how can that NOT be life changing?

tuesday, august 19/08

what a long, arduous ride to get out here! probably three hours or so but 2/3 of the way is on red dirt roads that, thankfully, have been settled with rain. but it could have been much worse if we had come by taxi. "taxi" is an experience i've yet to have. they are like econoline vans that are licensed for 14 people plus a driver and a conductor. they have been known to take more. that would have been brutal on these roads. beezman, steve, and parisai came out in a taxi. i must say that i feel somewhat guilty about that but our hosts want to treat us well. and the taxi is how these folks get around so there was no complaint from these people.

the home that roger and his brothers and sister lived in right in the village is basically a small room crammed with 2 couches, a coffee table, and and bureau. behind a hanging blanket is a sleeping room. steve still stays there when he comes home.

when we got there they were in the middle of their weekly market. it was interesting as a cultural event but disappointing on other levels. cows and goats were bought at market and were being taken to the big city for slaughtering. the truckers and their workers were were incredibly cruel to the animals. the cattle are crammed in front to back with heads twisted in whatever way necessary to make a fit. the goats are piled 3 high and crowded like the cows. we saw truckloads on the way up to the village with legs stuck out the sides of the truck. brad went to take a picture. they began to yell and swear about mzungu just wanting to take the pictures and sell them. roger began to argue with them. he didn't say we weren't selling the pictures but said, "what are we all here for? people sell things, people buy things. that's what the market is." i think he likes to argue/debate a little bit.

after a walk around the village meeting people, followed by children and accosted by the market-day drunks (thank goodness for steve - everyone knows him and likes him; he was our protector to a certain degree) we headed off to uncle george's farm compound. on the compound is a house for george and his wife,and three clay, thatch-roofed huts housing 3 families - 2 daughters and their husbands and children, and 1 son with his wife and children. also a clay cook house where they cook their milk and make yoghurt (which was fabulous, by the way).

uganda VI

2009-03-16T23:41:00.004-05:00

this entry was written sitting in a cafe in kampala as everyone else was running around getting errands done.

monday, august 18/08

today the boys (douglas and moses) left for school. douglas is doing some extra schooling to get ahead because he is graduating at christmas. moses is going to his grandfather's place for a couple days, then he's off for his next semester.

we still have no water at the house. apparently, we're at the mercy of gravity and water pressure. when there's enough pressure, then there's water. i have dreaded having to use those holes in the ground that pass for latrines and sure enough they are beyond my capacity to bend. the water we have is carried every couple days from the community center. i started using the grey water from dishes and laundry to flush and everyone has been thankful.

tomorrow we're heading out to the village (kyayi - pronounced chai) which is where roger and his siblings were raised. the uncles (they aren't really blood relatives but roger and his brothers and sister call them uncles) are the ones who stepped up when roger's parents died. they cared for these children...selflessly and without hesitation. like most young people who leave the safe isolation of their first homes to go to the big city, they ended up in unfortunate circumstances. in the case of roger and his brothers, they ended up living in the ghetto.

anyway, they don't have modern toilets either.

uganda V

2009-03-11T22:03:00.007-05:00

here's the journal entry for the day after lola's and roger's wedding.

sunday, august 17/08

the morning after the great event. roger and lola aren't here at the house yet. they should be here soon. last night there was an issue around whether they would stay at the hotel for their wedding night. roger was concerned that marg and sarah were leaving today and he should spend their last evening with them. very much the man of the house wanting to treat his guests with honour. he was concerned that they spent so much money, travelled such a great distance. they were such welcomed guests and he just didn't want to leave them on their last night in uganda.

marg spoke with him to say they should enjoy their wedding night in a nice hotel. he said no. we sent his brothers and his best man to convince him that marg and sarah really wanted them to stay at the hotel. he said no. i spoke with lola who said she would love to stay at the hotel but would do what roger decided because this was his issue. finally i was sent to speak to roger.

at first i simply said that they should stay. he said no. i told him that marg and sarah would feel terrible if they realized they were the cause of him and lola missing out on their wedding night. he wavered but said no.

i felt for him as i became aware of the conflict warring within him...wanting to be honourable to his guests and his new wife. wanting to sacrifice but also wanting what he wanted. finally, in the middle of this cultural conflict, i said, "roger, i am your elder and i'm telling you, you must stay at the hotel tonight." a smile came over his face and he said, "what about lola? she wants to honour her mother and her friends." i said, "i think she would be happy that you decided to stay." i said, "you can spend some time with marg and sarah now and you will drive them to the airport tomorrow." he went and spoke with lola. they both returned with the answer that they were staying.

this moment of calling on my position as an elder was quite amazing. how would my children, or any young person for that matter, react if i said, "do this because i'm your elder."? their reaction would be quite different from roger's. here in uganda there is quite a different viewpoint or value given to honour and respecting of roles. there was a time in our history where honour and chivalry were held in high esteem. because of pendulum-swing reaction to our human tendency to abuse power and control, we have all but lost those values. it's too bad.

it was just as well that lola and roger didn't come home with us because when we got the the compound, we discovered the water was off - no shower, no flushing toilet. the only reason we had drinking water was because it was purchased every day or two so we would always have it on hand. the shortage of water happens on a regular basis when there is a lack of rain. this slows the flow of water causing less pressure.

apparently, they had a good night.

another first for brad and myself at any wedding was the gifting of cows...seven, after all was said and done. this is not just symbolic but is a real gift of wealth in this economy where money is almost useless in comparison with property everywhere accept in the larger towns and cities.

uganda IV

2009-03-09T21:54:00.005-05:00

saturday, august 16/08; 6:00am - ish

i couldn't sleep much last night. i must be a little nervous about singing "at last". it went through my head probably 50 times or more - no exaggeration.

roger and lola also asked me to pray the closing prayer which has also been on my mind. after a short sleep needing to get up to "recycle" the beer. it was only one but clearly too late.

then the cock crowed (way too early), the pigs across the road squeeled, and a crazed dog next door barked steadily until the sky lightened. all of this started with the buzzing of a vibrating cel phone on a table (not mine) and the regular muslim call to prayer somewhere in the distance. romance nixed with irritation kept me awake 'til i thought i might as well get up.

later that day was the wedding. more about that later. what follows is a toast to the bride and a prayer that i was asked to give...

i know lola. i have known her for a long time. i have worked with her for years. and i know lola.

i have seen her hold the lonely, and heal the wound of the hurting with a touch and a smile, or a tear. she embraces freely, gives of her life generously, and loves deeply. she is one of the most compassionate people i know.

i feel i know God better because of lola. God made her; and i know lola.

when i met lola's mother i wasn't surprised that she was a caring, gentle person. because lola was raised by her mother; and i know lola.

and so when i heard about roger from lola, and spoke to him on the phone a few times, i didn't really know him. i have since learned that roger is a man of integrity, courage, and compassion. but i shouldn't be surprised. lola has chosen him; and i know lola.

if it was not for lola and roger, i never would have come to this beautiful land. roger has welcomed me to his country, i have eaten at his table and tasted his wine. i have been embraced by the laughter, joy, and love of his family. i am humbled and deeply moved, and my life will never be the same. thank-you; mwaybola nio.

All Mighty God

Creator of all that is beautiful,

Giver of all good things,

We thank you for today.

We thank you for the picture

of love and fidelity,

and generosity

we have seen in this celebration.

We ask for Your blessing on

Roger and Lola.

We ask that you will grant them

Peace,

Wisdom,

Joy, and

Love

for the rest of their lives;

In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

Amen

uganda III

2009-03-06T09:10:00.005-06:00

this is a copy of my journal dated...

friday, august 15/08

i need to make this entry because so much happens that i will get too far behind if i don't do it now.

i have met the most amazing people here. they are mostly connected to roger - his brothers, cousins, their girlfriends and friends. douglas, the youngest is recognized by the rest of the family as "father". they tease him about it but also accept it. moses is the quiet one full of seriousness and compassion. stephen is the funny one - the one whom i hope will be my companion/guide while i'm here.

when we first met this group, lola, roger, brad and i were having lunch at the cafe pap in downtown kampala. in they walked all teeth and joy with embraces. everyone was saying how they have longed to see me. i knew many of their names but didn't know who was who (one other fellow is beezman - roger's best friend - all rasta hair and charm. a beautiful man inside and out).

we arrived at the compound and drank beer, sang, and laughed until i couldn't keep my eyhes open anymore. (i had been awake for 48 hours with 3 hours sleep in snatches).

today we ate and went for our first walkabout taking pictures of the neighbourhood around the compound. i felt self-conscious about taking pictures of others' lives but once i started showing the pictures to the children, it was more like fun and playing. one woman holding a baby asked me a question - "lesala?" i quickly called stephan back. she said the same thing and he repeated to me "lesala?". my look was blank enough for him to realize i didn't understand. he patted my arm and said to the woman "no, he's just a big man." as understanding slowly crept into my mind, i threw my head back in laughter - she had asked, in english no less, if i was a wrestler. this was the beginning of my journey in not only not understanding the ugandan language but in not understanding the ugandans' english.

they say they can understand brad easier than me. lola says its because brad had developed a bit of english accent in his english and that's how they are taught in school. shephen says he thinks it's because i have a big voice, thick and low. and i speak too fast! nobody has ever said that about me before.

now i have met stephen's girlfirend/wife, joyce, and their 2 month old baby boy, brain. some confusion there as well - he was dressed in a dress - but it was blue. joyce is a beautiful woman who speaks slow enough for me to understand. we spoke about school, dreams, politics and language.

uganda II

2009-03-05T22:51:00.006-06:00

here's my second installment of my trip to uganda last summer. as you read it, it will be written as i wrote it then. sometimes i wrote in the present, sometimes reporting things that happened in the past few hours or days. i hope you're able to enjoy this and imagine the traveling with me.

wednesday, august 13/08

the time spent in minneapolis was uneventful until and hour and a half before take off. a huge storm came in. we couldn't see further than 30 years because of the driving rain.

i had been sitting for several hours at gate c4. when it came time for what i thought would be boarding time nothing happened. i checked to see if it was late and i saw that it was at gate g4! which was about a mile away...no exaggeration. i got there just in time to board thanks to some fancy driving by one of those airport cart drivers. he drove me right up to the gate door.

shades of thompson/the pas which is always one of my greatest concerns when i'm traveling and supposed to be at a certain place at a certain time. it's another story, but it's a good one, believe me.

i didn't sleep very well on the plane. i watched a movie (iron man) and tried to sleep, but to no avail. arrived at heathrow terminal 4 and had a long subway ride and walk to get to terminal 3. i'm supposed to meet brad there at 3ish. i don't even know what time it is. i went to put my luggage in a safe place but it would cost 6 pound 50 for each item...that's like a total of $45!! that's just crazy.

so here i sit waiting for breakfast while i write. hope meeting up with brad goes without a hitch.

journey to uganda I

2009-03-04T11:15:00.004-06:00

although i went to uganda in august last year, i have finally found the time to write about it. i knew that the experience could be life changing and so wrote a journal every day or two. what follows here and for the next few postings will be installments of that journal.

august 12/08

so here i sit on the tarmac of the winnipeg international airport. i have been through all the anxiety about flying with my wife, noelle. she kept trying to ease my concerns i'm aware that those concerns are not rational. i have found as i get older i want to avoid anything that smacks of danger. i think this is because i want to be able to be with and enjoy my family as long as i can.

i've already dealt with dying back when i had that cancer scare in november of 07. i came to grips with all that and as long as i have significant time to tell those i love that i, in fact, love them and to say goodbye, i'd be OK with dying.

it is interesting that i have these irrational fears. my fears through my life have always been about my own weaknesses. now they seem to be external things of which i have no control.

so here we are, taxiing out and i'm on my way to one of the poorest countries in the world. what adventures await me (us actually as i'm meeting my good friend, brad, in london).

noelle kissed me, stefi game me a long hug and jordy blessed me. and i'm off while listening to modest mouse album "we were dead before the ship ever sank".

people are good

2008-04-22T13:11:00.002-05:00

a couple months ago, my supervisor from work said i should go to uganda to attend the wedding of a friend and co-worker. this friend is moving to uganda to marry a man she met while working at a school there last year. they will be starting a group home for orphaned teenage boys. pretty exciting really.

anyway, when she said this i walked out of the room laughing. a couple days later she mentioned it again saying she was serious. i said there is no way i could afford it. to which she said my co-workers would take care of it by doing some fundraisers. so far there was a raffle for 60$ worth of lotto tickets (i know, the irony is amazing), and a night of bingo bowling with a silent auction. they have raised enough to pay for my trip to england and back. how we're going to get the money for england to uganda i don't know but i'm committed to the trip now.

thank you to all those who have worked tirelessly to accomplish this thing for me.

I - AM - ANGLICAN!!!

2007-04-18T23:43:00.000-05:00

and here's why. best described in a blog that i subscribe to called "Jesus Creed".

An Anglican Service

— Scot McKnight @ 2:20 am

Sunday Kris and I were at St. Matthew’s in Sterling VA. I posted a few pics yesterday from our time there with Rob and Linda Merola. Rob is Rector of St. Matthew’s (whatever “rector” means). There is major impression I get everytime I “go Anglican.”
Just about the time I get really warmed up in my sermon I realize my time is about over. Here now my major impression: the point of an Anglican gathering on a Sunday morning is not to hear a sermon but to worship the Lord through the celebration of the Eucharist. Isn’t the point of our worship to revel in the life and death and resurrection of our Lord and to be empowered by the Spirit of Pentecost? Isn’t this rather narrow tunnel of focus on the core elements of our faith the one that leads to freedom in Christ? Doesn’t the weekly communion guide us to the point of it all?
Rob gave me 15-20 minutes for the sermon — a bit of cramped space for a man who grew among the Baptist 45-60 minute sermon. And, as is expected, the sermon at the end needed to lead us all into the Lord’s Supper. Which definitely gives guidance from the get-go of where we are headed.
The Lord’s Supper is not a tack-on to an already cramped 60-75 minute service, but the climactic time of the entire service. First some scripture readings and then the sermon and then some announcements and then the Eucharist liturgy — with everyone coming forward to kneel and participate — publicly — in the body and blood. Each person publicly appropriates in a visible drama the saving impacts of the death and resurrection of Christ.
I will say this til I die: the words of The Book of Common Prayer are unsurpassable and a Lord’s Supper, done properly and with dignity and solemnity and with preparation, is all we need for worship. I wonder sometimes if the lengthy singing of low-church evangelicals is a groping for the kind of worship that is visibly demonstrated and dramatized in the Anglican communion service. Nothing tells the old, old redemptive story like the bread and wine. Nothing.
I’m hoping more low-church evangelicals will catch the vision for the simple story and quite trying to figure out how to do everything so differently or so creatively or so cleverly or with more energy or with more attractional force. The simple sacraments are our lodestar.

discern the times

2007-03-08T11:24:00.000-06:00

we just finished the conversation series conference that was put on by booth college and saint benedict's table. the main speakers were a journalist for spin magazine by the name of andrew beaujon, and a singer-songwriter who writes from the world view of a christian, steve bell.

for me the most important thing that i brought away from the things that andrew said ove the three days was the concept of discernment and critique; particularly the critique of a culture from the perspective of our faith. it's way too easy to be critical and even cynical about what christianity has done in the world. it's too easy to use christianity as a punching bag, and frankly, it's kind of hip to be critical. what is unfortunate, said steve, is that this very easily turns into cynicism. this is unhealthy for us individually and for us as a broader community. steve shared how he has a tendancy to be cynical and has chosen to look for the gift in things...look for the beauty and the awe. i have a tendancy to look for the best in things but it is easy to be caught in the trap of cynicism in order to be hip or with it or cool.

andrew also encouraged us to blog as a way of journalling in a way that is more editted than a regular diary. i will make an effort to be more intentional in doing so.

dogma vs mystery

2006-12-18T00:00:00.000-06:00

in one of the news groups i read the question was stated;

"In some ways I am terrified at the idea of asking Jesus to teach me more of His suffering..."

to which a brilliant answer was given by someone by the name of brad culver;

"Friends...i think it's even more elemental than that... have you ever asked Him to take your heart of stone and give you a tender heart of flesh... or teach you to forgive... or to love your neighbour as your self... or have His heart for the other...?

"Loving God and loving others has suffering built into it... ever prayed, "Jesus i want to love like you love"? He put grace above the law. He laid down His life for those who weren't His friends. He forgave His executioners in the very act.

forever in the bloody grip of grace"

this statement was made in the context of the importance of dogma in the experience of God. the concern was that when one spends all his energy in working out all things believed so that it fits a dogma the goal (which is the experience of God) can, and usually is, missed. if, however, we focus our attention on Jesus rather than dogma, per se, we will experience God. i think brad has hit the crux of the issue with the questions he asks here.

there are those who say that christianity and mysticism don't mix. i think that anyone who would say this doesn't understand mysticism or christianity. faith is a mystery.

...but by the grace of God

2006-11-07T00:54:00.000-06:00

wow! ted haggard has sure got himself in a jam. and the media and the world and many christians are loving it. jerry falwell and what's-his-name robertson have both distanced themselves from him. flawell has said in an interview, "his organization is not as big as they say and i have certainly never been a member". whatever the size of the organization has to do with anything. it's seems that jerry is saying that if the organization was big enough, or as big as they say it is then he would be worthy of his commendation. whatever.

whenever any of these guys (and we know who they are) gets themselves caught (and unfortunately 'caught' is often the operative word in these situations) i feel a certain uneasiness. this is after i have taken my turn at criticizing/joking about their actions and hypocrisy. the uneasiness is caused by the realization that i have "fallen short of the glory of God". i have had to confess to my fellow christians. i have had to be held accountable by mentors whom i trust. i have been humbled in receiving the forgiveness from those i have hurt and/or offended and/or their representatives (that's another blog, i think).

so how do we respond to ted. do we agree with everything (or very much at all) that he teaches? no. but that's for another blog (on another blog site). is he a christian? has he confessed? yes. i've read it and it is one of the best public confessions i've ever heard or seen. and if you are going to comment at all on his particular situation, you need to read the confession. he needs our forgiveness. and frankly, i think we need to forgive. if we can't forgive in this case then we need to revisit our own teachings about our faith in Christ. it's way too easy to allow ourselves to be carried away on the wave of worldly cynicism. we should be responding with the grace and hope that represents our beliefs. and our response needs to be tempered by an honest evaluation our own darkness. may ted be held tightly in the the grace of God. me too!

this climate of disagreement

2006-10-23T00:28:00.000-05:00

In the climate of disagreement that exists within the Christian community, there is something that continues to bother me about it. It’s the seemingly constant criticism that happens between the two extremes of perspective. Now I’m talking about the Christian community, not some social grouping, not some societal alliance. I’m talking about a group that has a set of ethics that have been laid out for them by the One to Whom they pledge allegiance. When we have something against a brother/sister we do not go to a court of law…a court that serves society – our direction comes from the scriptures upon which our faith is based – because our standard is set higher and our Judge is good, and fair, and just.

The climate of disagreement I’m talking about here is mostly political and has to do with two Christian leaders; George W. Bush and Franklin Graham.

Graham is in our town leading a "festival". The word "festival" has been chosen by the Graham organization to replace the term "crusade" which was the word formerly used by evangelists to describe their huge meetings. It's good that they changed the word. The word “crusade” is a term that Christians should be embarrassed to use because of our own violent past that is connected with this word. We should be careful with our own accusations about violent, militant faith communities.

At any rate, Graham has been vocal in his support of the war in Iraq. This is a problem with any Christian who believes that war is no way to bring peace to the world. This is a problem for Christians who believe that non-violence is a consistent response to the teachings of Christ. Clearly, they would disagree with Graham here. They should disagree. And they should enter into a debate with him and all those Christians with whom they disagree. The problem comes when this kind of disagreement causes Christians to bad-mouth or ridicule their brothers/sisters. Shame on us.

A good example of this happened this morning at a church that I was attending. Some people were commenting on the fact that Graham was in town for a “crusade” and were fairly disparaging in their remarks. These remarks had to do with Graham's pro-war position and the particular approach to evangelism that his organization practises. Later on during the service two people who were new to us and had never attended before shared that the night before one of them had become a Christian at the evangelistic service. His partner shared that she was going to attend the meeting later that night and had decided she would become a Christian then. The theology around when a person becomes a Christian aside, here were two people who has entered the body of Christ at the ministry of the Franklin Graham Crusade. What can we do but join the angels in heaven as they sing “Holy, Holy, Holy Lord. Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord. Hosanna in the highest.” I will, therefore, thank God for Franklin Graham and pray that he will change his position on war.

Now as far as Bush is concerned. I detest his theology. I hate his foreign policy. I believe he is totally misguided around his capitalistic/democratic solution for the world as it can only be brought by the US. But I am also angered and embarrassed by the part of the Christian community that has demonized him. (And I use the word “demonized” advisedly. How dare we minimize the person and power of the satan by using this word to describe any person let alone a Christian brother). I’m sure that many would argue that Bush couldn’t be a Christian because of his actions. This, of course, depends on your own theological perspective. Either way, we need to be careful of our approaches to criticism. I’m not saying we shouldn’t be critical. We should be critical. In fact we have a real standard by which to measure his actions and policies. But if he is a Christian, we need to pray for him as a brother with a heart of commpassion and humility. If he is not a Christian, we should pray for his salvation with a heart of love and understanding. And if we think he must not be a Christian because of his actions and policies we need to ask ourselves if our lives could survive the same type of judgement.

conversation cafe: missional church in a new light

2006-10-07T01:36:00.000-05:00

i love it when i find another site that causes me to think and consider my faith. the conversation cafe is one such site. the article that follows is about the missional church. the writer, craig morton take starts with his own knee jerk reaction to words like missional. he then goes into describing his journey of rediscovery. in some of the churches with which i have been connected sharing faith is something people struggle with. either they think they are being pushy and not very tollerant of others' beliefs, or they are not comfortable talking to others about something in which they think they are not very conversant; they are afraid they are not smart enough or they don't know enough to give a good presentation about their faith. i suspect that the writer of this article has gone through some of the same angst.

anyway, here's an exerpt from the article:

The lines easily blur between God’s actions and our activities; hence, we confuse our initiatives with God’s call, our decision with God’s will, and our point of view with God’s promised and preferred future. The end result is dangerously close to a form of atheism or idolatry. God becomes an afterthought to bless the good things we are doing.

read more

ramifications :open source theology:

2006-10-02T12:55:00.000-05:00

there are many blogs that are in conversation around the church's emergence in this time. some are totally opposed and are warning us that there are serious problems being welcomed by a 'tolerant' stance of most emerging churches. others are welcoming the conversation in all it's diversity. here is a good example.

...there may be discernible differences, unique and outstanding features, trends and so on but where is the equally important acknowledgement of the ties that bind? “I am missional” should not be opposed to “I am emergent”. The fact is that all shades of mixtures exist together...

what (again) is an emerging theology?

2006-09-20T00:31:00.000-05:00

an interesting site called 'open source theology' has a series of articles about emergent church. this is one that has many ideas to discuss...

The whole idea of an ‘emerging theology’ is nebulous, which is probably unavoidable and probably a good thing. But every now and again I feel the need to sketch some boundaries, contours, intentions, commitments - if only to help us keep in view the stated purpose of this site, which is to ‘assist the development of a transparent, community-driven theology for the “emerging church”’. There have been good discussions along these lines in the past: ‘Outline of an emerging theology’, ‘What is the relationship between emerging and evangelical theologies?’, ‘The marks of a renewed theology’. This is simply another personal attempt to give some definition to the phrase ‘emerging theology’.

So here, very briefly stated, are what I feel to be some of the leading characteristics of an emerging theology. It reflects my biases and blindspots. If people want to suggest corrections or additions, I would be happy to take them into account and republish the list as a more collective statement.

read more

a journey into and out of the emergent church

2006-09-12T10:36:00.000-05:00

here is an article by jason carson (who claims friendship with some of the movers and shakers of the emergent conversation) on some of the difficulties he has with it. i think he brings up some good points but i don't think it's necessary to "leave". there are some things with which i disagree when it comes to the tenets of the emergent perspective but "going back" to the alternative for me is unacceptable.

My Journey Into and Out of the Emergent Church
By Jason Carlson

The growing influence of the so-called emergent church movement has generated much interest and debate in recent times. As a columnist for the Christian Worldview Network, people often ask me for my take on the emergent church movement. Thus, the purpose of this article is simply to offer my humble perspective on the emergent church movement, based upon my unique firsthand interactions with many of its leaders, many of whom I count as friends in-spite of my disagreements with them.

check this out if you're interested in reading the rest of the article

stardom a sour notes

2006-09-11T00:53:00.000-05:00

another interesting article from the washington post about christian music. there is somewhat of a critique of contemparary christian music as empty and meaningless. people in the article talk about what real worship songs should be about.

Lure of Stardom a Sour Note in Praise Songs
By Michelle Boorstein
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, December 4, 2005; Page C01

Looking at row after row of Christian music CDs in the Fredericksburg Wal-Mart, Clint Clifton glimpses the seeds of something grand -- a golden period for Christian artists that could rival 12th-century France or 15th-century England.

The Christian selections fill about one-eighth of the megastore's music department. Having spent the past three years promoting and training young Christian musicians, Clifton can't help but smile; he is living in a boom time."

if you want to read more

evangelical spin doctor

2006-09-10T23:40:00.000-05:00

following is a washington post has an article which talks about brian mclaren and the emergent church movement.

Evangelical Author Puts Progressive Spin On Traditional Faith

By Caryle Murphy
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, September 10, 2006; Page A01

Lyndsay Moseley was no longer inspired by the evangelical Christian faith of her youth. As an environmental activist, she believed that it offered little spiritual support for her work and was overly focused on opposing abortion and gay marriage.

Then the 27-year-old District resident discovered Brian D. McLaren of Laurel, one of contemporary Christianity's hottest authors and founding pastor of Cedar Ridge Community Church in upper Montgomery County.

"He always talks about the environment as a priority when he talks about the church being relevant to the world," Moseley said. "He's leading a [spiritual] conversation that needs to happen," one that "I've been hungry for."

if you would like to read more

patriotism, allegiance, and war

2006-08-01T00:24:00.000-05:00

another posting that comes from the message board that i read called 'emerging theology'.

there is a series of postings discussing among other things patriotism, allegiance, and war. what this series of conversations has done for me is to realize that not all americans are 'bushy'. many are thoughtful and courageous. the other thing is that the message board is stocked with contributors from other countries as well.

below i am copying one of the posts that first got my attention. if anyone is interested in reading the others go to emerging_theology : Message: Re: Penalty for killing as revenge:- Accidents, Tragedies, Diseases
i don't know how long these will be on the net. this is the reason for including what follows:

Re: Penalty for killing as revenge:- Accidents, Tragedies, Diseases

This is kind of setting the cat among the pigeons, about questions that are unanswerable. People die from heat exhaustion, because of - well - the heat and dehydration coupled with lack of sodium. There cannot be any sense of divine retribution, if that where you're heading. We don't know what the consequences are as far as Israel-Lebanon, or the Coalition occupation in Iraq, or 9/11. God has put - delegated - into the hands of national leaders the ability to wield the sword (Rom. 13:4).

For now, no matter how much we disagree or protest, we are only doing so from the sidelines, unless we get our hands dirty and join in the political process and machinery. For many of us, discretion is the better part of valor,and it is our choice to not get so embroiled. We do know - and this may sound like a cop-out - that God will judge in the end; that the rightness of the wars in the larger balance of history will make itself clear; that in many lives things in the end will work out for good, particularly if they're Christians; that repentance will be necessary and required of all sides.

It is difficult to comment on another regime. In Pakistan, for instances whole sections of the population live on Â£30 (about $50) a month. The military and the police are heavily funded (even though the police feel that they have to extract money from the public in traffic violations, to supplement their income). In many ways like many other nationsin thatt regions, there is a level of repression and what may seem like craziness (the heat,perhaps?), but unless you are committed to the welfare of the nation, or have a strong assurance of having a prophetic word, it is quite difficult to have valid place to speak.

This is not a "Shut up, you guys. You don't know what you're talking about". Rather, opinions about the Long War, the War in Iraq often end up as hot air witha bunchh of aggravation and discord among brothers. Many in the UK fought like catsand dogssover thee rightness of the War in Iraq, was it right for a nation to unilaterally to subvert the authority of another nation-state by enforcing regime change without other nations feeling that they could do the same? shouldn't we rather support the work ofthe UNN as the main international arbiter with all its flaws, in the name of peace? Also, we don't know what we're talking about. Advocates of both sides of, say, the War in Iraq, had elements of right on their side. Saddam Hussein was an evil man, even though Madeleine Albright once called him 'our kind of guy'. Yet how many other 'evilmen' who suppress the human rights of their citizens do the West do business with?

Regime change: what's that about? We will never really know the answers to this questionor Israell. Advocates of democracy for nations such as Iraq, must concurrently call for greater democracy in their own countries. We have to insist on more democracy than once(inthe formm of a cross) every four or five years. We need an intelligent electorate,who knowhow too pick a guy who makes the decisions. We need to know what the issues are.

Sorry about the long posting; I certainly didn't intend to lecture. I feel like it's many postings in one. Heat exhaustion(?!), war and informed opinions. These are issues that I'm passionate about. We must talk, yes, but also get involved.

'emerging vs. ancient-future vs. missional'

2006-07-25T13:44:00.000-05:00

i often go to one of the groups on yahoo groups called postmodern christianity. the debates and discussions are usually thoughtful and real. there was a posting there that went by the name 'emerging vs. ancient-future vs. missional' in which the writer discribed them each as separate movements. i responded from our own experience with saint benedict's table...

steve,

thank you for the overview. i think your definitions of the movements are accurate and your warnings of the various 'sighted-ness' dangers is real and wise.

my own personal experience with this has been in the context of an anglican community here in winnipeg, canada. we struggled for awhile around being called a 'post-modern' church because we aren't post-modern...we are a people who finds itself embedded in a time that is reflected in it's tendancey towards "individualism, experience, and "non-narrativism". we believe that as a church 'emerging' out of this bog, we still need to present a counter-culture perspective.

we have found that many of the young adults that have been participating in our body have appreciated and even called for some of the ancient symbols that our protestant forebearers tossed out with the iconoclast bathwater. our priest even uses robes that aren't used among the clergy of the anglican communion. we have icons, and we burn incense, and we have dimmed lights - you know, all the things that the books at the beginning of this movement suggested to do :)

although the missional part of our church is the least practised, it is not the least thought about. we have many people who have come from 'evangelical' churches and want do distance themselves from the things in which they felt trapped as members of those churches. the fear is that we have a new batch of bathwater that needs to be checked for babies before being tossed.

anyway, thanks for the clear presentation. i would just like to suggest that a worshipping community doesn't have to pick one or the other of these 'movements'. we need to learn from the problems of the evangelical movement (not the least of which is being sucked into the dominant culture) and we need to figure out how best to live as 'counter' to that culture. this is going to take many shapes. i'm looking forward to seeing what this will mean for the future of the church.

God's good gifts

2006-07-19T15:28:00.000-05:00

“we don’t really create anything. we work with what has already been created - arranging the good gifts we receive in ways that are unique to us...our best work, my best work, grows out of the soil of someone else’s work and life.”

this statement found on steve bell's web site seems to fly in the face of the sentiment that our "creativity" is a reflection of having been created in God's image. to some degree it may be a matter of semantics. but all too often, when someone is making the point that we are creative because we are in the image of the Creator, it sounds too much like someone trying to hold on to some modicum of worth. it sounds like the squabbling disciples arguing about who would sit closer to Jesus in His kingdom. Jesus comments at that point should be instructional for us.

we seem to have lost the sense, as christians particularly, of recognizing that we have our worth because we are loved by God. this is not because of anything we have done.

john the baptist considered himself unworthy to even untie the sandals that Jesus wore. the apostles were joyful that they were counted by God worthy enough to suffer for the good news. the writer of Hebrews in 11:36-40 talked about the prophets whom the world was not worthy to hold. but they were found to have worth because of lives lived and lost in dedication to their creator.

as i read novels and thoughtful books that speak eloquently about deep matters of life, as i begin to enter the cyberscape of blogdom, i'm amazed at the wisdom handed down of faith/doubt. i will draw on those thoughts and struggles often as i live and grow. and as i do, it will be "out of the soil of someone else's work and life" for which i will be eternally grateful.